Saying goodbye to this house feels a little bit like grieving a loss. I never could have imagined when we bought it 10 years ago that we would even still be here 10 years on. Never mind that we would have done what we’ve done. Put so much work, so much love into building a place that is ours. To our particular taste and function. And then you layer on bringing home these two boys, creating bedrooms and spaces for them. Watching as the little bits of their lives have intruded all over the house. I just cleaned out my closet, finding a Thomas the Train book, some Duplo pieces and at least two rocks squirrelled away. Even my space isn’t mine anymore!

And now we’ve spent this week, and will spend the next, ramping up the dismantling of the home that we’ve built together. Pictures off walls, chairs in boxes, eating lunch standing at the counter, scrambling to find an extra pair of shorts for Elliott when he comes in from a friend’s house covered in mud. All in service of doing something that I hope with every crossed finger and toe will be worth it in the end.

Every transition is hard, I know that. Two weeks ago, I thought, man this is really tiring and emotionally draining. Oh sweet, silly Melissa of two weeks ago… this week has been much, much worse! The tears have come easily this week. And yet we still have two more ahead of us to complete the packing of the house and the removal of all our belongings before June 30.

So, which stage am I in now? Hopefully it’s the one right before elation and joy. I’m about ready for that to kick in.