This will likely prove to be a rather popular series as it seems many enjoy reading about others failures. So this will be a chronicle of mine. The Muppet Diaries is dedicated to Dylan Tate, who never misses a chance to turn to me and say “You, Sir, are a Muppet.” Thank you, Dylan, for the inspiration and GFY.

We’ve been off the dock and on our “trip” for over a week now (I’ll post a separate update about what our current status is) and I’ve already had two head slappers. Our first came on the first night at anchor at one of our favorite anchorages on Lake Ontario, Little Bluffs (aka Lake Snake Beach). We had gotten a late start that morning as we waited in Cobourg for a number of marinas to open so we could phone them and find out if they had the capability to repair our Fischer Panda generator. We literally didn’t know where we would go and would go to wherever and whomever could do the repair. Unsurprisingly no one could do it and so we decided to head over to Waupoos which got us closer to Oswego without going too far the wrong way. The first part of the trip was absolutely incredible. 10-15 knots of breeze, flat water, AWA of 60, just pure bliss. Full sail, VMG of 7+ knots to our destination, my god it was great. Truly one of our best sails on this boat, ever. Inevitably the wind died, the engine came on, and the flies came out. The kids became feral with 2 hours yet to go and we finally got on the hook around 6. We had a number of failed attempts getting Bo to shore for a desperate pee with Oliver using the kayak and a ball being thrown. So Melissa and I decided that it would be best to put together the dinghy.

Those of you that know me understand that I’m a wee bit particular about my stuff. We had put the dinghy away at the end of last season in typical fashion: 3+ hours of scrubbing, cleaning, drying, touching up, buffing, polishing and packing it up perfectly. Because we had planned to leave Toronto and go directly to the USA to drop our mast and enter the canal I decided that it would be best to pack up the dinghy and not use it prior to departure. So I did just that…in May. The dinghy was packed aboard Atlas (really well!) and we were without a dinghy for 2 months. This necessitated borrowing the dinghies of others (thanks Oliver family!!!) and was an inconvenience. It was clear Melissa wasn’t pleased but she’s learned to not mess with the Zohan on issues like this. The dinghy stayed well packed away.

So it was with annoyance and some bemusement that we dragged the dinghy up on deck to get it out BEFORE we ever made it to the USA. Before our mast came down. Before we ever started our trip. But out it came as a dog with crossed legs watched anxiously and while kids continued to bicker, whine and ask when dinner was going to be ready. The boat came together pretty quickly and it was then that I asked Melissa where the seats were. Since I was fully responsible for the packing away of the dingy and all its parts it only made sense that I asked her this question in an accusatory tone. This was not well received and I quickly realized that she had failed to ask me if I had packed away ALL the parts of the dinghy 2 months ago. Courageously I decided to be the better person and not point out her failure and calmly said “seems we left without the seats to the dinghy.” Clearly embarrassed by her oversight Melissa said nothing and helped me put the boat in the water. The story goes on and has involved about 32 other people in getting the seats back to us but we hope to have them in the next day or 2.

2 days later we had to go to Waupoos Marina to meet a mechanic who wasn’t able to repair our generator. Using our new, kick ass, inflatable fenders I had failed to lower them down to the water line as we approached a very low dock. As we made contact with the dock (slowly and in control I must point out) the fenders promptly jumped up above the dock leaving nothing but gel coat between Atlas and wood and metal of the dock. Lots of gouges and scratches ensued and this was upsetting as it would take Melissa out of action for hours as she would now need to buff them out.

The final entry to today’s Muppet Diary is our lack of data. I’ve spent on unmentionable amount of money putting together a top notch onboard internet system. I’ve procured a fantastic USA cellular data package for a not insignificant cost and even turned it on in anticipation of our July 17 arrival to the USA. Being the cheap bastard I am I even decided that I would blaze through ALL my TELUS (Canadian cellular provider) data 3 weeks before the monthly rollover so as to get all the value for my dollar. Except we’re still in Canada and now depending on awful marina WiFi. I can imagine the reseller of the USA data plan I have is dumbfounded that I’ve started the billing and used exactly 0.0mb of data. Our saving grace has been Google Fi, which I managed to activate back on July 5th on my quick trip back to Michigan. Of course I signed up for 2 lines with the expectation that we would activate Melissa’s phone a week later and I signed up for the plan that doesn’t allow one to hotspot their phone. And the fact that I won’t put social media apps on my phone (which has the Google Fi data) has made Melissa’s life harder hasn’t helped. But we’re able to check our email 17 times an hour waiting to hear about the Oswego Canal reopening. So that’s a win.